To begin, I thank my friends for introducing me to ska. I love it.
Now to the point and hand...I don't have one. I'm sitting at my desk, which isn't a desk, It's more like a tray with wheels and a fold-out lawn chair which is too short for the "desk". I'm trying to get back into the loop of school time, which is a big let-down for me. I usually spend the week before school waking up at around 6:30 or so, so I can be ready and awake for the coming school year. The one downside to this is that I wake up and 6:30 a.m., and no one else does. So I'm stuck awake and extra few hours with no one but my thoughts, even though I don't usually talk to anyone. I've come to the sad realization that I'm a very lonely person. I have friends, which I am thankful for, but I barely have one friend who I keep in touch with more than twice a week, and I'm not that deep with that person. There was only one person I could be perfectly me with, and I left her. I'm not regretting it. I'd rather have a lonely spell that return to that harpy (too extreme).
I guess my main problem of the week is summing up the entire summer and coming up a week early. I wish I had planned something, anything, that could stave off this emptiness, but almost everyone I know is nose-deep in work or starting college or whatnot. It makes me regretful that I didn't really apply myself in the last three years. Almost as heart-breaking as the lonliness is the crushing sense of the "could've's." I could have done so much, but I pissed my years away and now I'm facing the music. I try not to live in regrets, but it's nearly impossible. I large chapter of my life is closing and I regret not reading the lines closer.
I'm not one for large rantings (Who am I kidding?), but I feel like venting might help a little. It hasn't. If anything, I could say it made things slightly worse, since now I can see my woes on a large screen before my eyes. I make a small sigh as I look upon the text and find my mouse clicking on "Save changes."
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